Visual Issue / Insecurity and Intelligence

The visuals you will see here are all photos I felt insecure about. Self love doesn’t happen over night. I will always continue to push myself. 

I used to find the topic of insecurity difficult to convey and understand. I didn’t understand it or my feelings with it. Overtime I’ve had the time to process and learn to articulate it. Wether you can admit it or not we all face insecurities, physical, mental , emotional. Things we don’t have 100% confidence and belief in. They makes us feel ugly, bad, mean, or not good enough. Now of course a lot of these insecurities can be created or manipulated by our own selves, but a large amount of insecurities are formed through societies standards and peers. 

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Majority of the time these things that we are insecure about others barely or don’t notice at all. It’s just our own critical minds fearcely judging ones self. We are our own worst enemies at times, we beat our selves down over and over again, some more than others. We may be the main contributors to our insecurities. 

The times I have felt most powerful and love towards myself are the times when I was vulnerable and honest with myself and others. Telling people how I feel and gaining feedback, advice, and encouragement. Building one another up is so vital for self love. Wether the building up is from solely yourself or from others. 

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I left public school a little over 2 years ago, theres no doubt that public school had a major influence on me. Insecurity wise and many other ways that were extremely negative. Not only did peers make me feel insecure but so did the adults. The ones who are suppose to teach and guide us through let me and so many others down. I felt judged and not worthy  majority of the time by teachers. If I was slow in a class I was punished, if I felt like I didn’t understand a topic It was my fault, I either wasn’t paying enough attention or I didn’t do my work properly. It was never their fault from their perspective. Not only did this knock me down I didn’t want to be there, I didn’t want to show up to class, and I didn’t even want to try anymore. 

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying every teacher is like this, I had some amazing teachers in my years of public school. Yet the ones who let me down ruined the whole experience and made the positive up-lifting teachers not matter. I didn’t hate math because I thought it was too hard or because I didn’t want to do the work. I didn’t like it because of my experience with the teaching. It felt like an impossible task to please them, I was never going to be good enough in their eyes.

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Growing up my Dad hated when I called myself stupid, he despised the word. He always told me to never ever call myself it. He still to this day corrects me when I in a moment of anger I yell at myself and call myself stupid or dumb. He truly believes I am not, and I do too. I know I’m not stupid and although those teachers may have made me feel that way I will never believe it and neither should you. Things like publicly humiliating a student shouldn’t be allowed, knocking them down behind doors and in front the whole class. Instead they should be using the proper techniques to make learning interactive and uplifting, helping students to learn to enjoy class and the things it entails. 

Insecurities won’t be going away anytime soon but we can all make an effort to not damage others and to only encourage and build confidence within each other including yourself. 

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